Disco Dork
Paramedics were called to a discotheque in Salt Lake City where a young man had lost consciousness on the dance floor. Bystanders reported, "One minute he was dancing, and the next minute he was lying on the floor turning blue." His skin was pallid from lack of oxygen. The paramedics concluded that the man had suffered a heart attack, and loaded him into the ambulance. He died en route to the hospital. In the emergency room the true cause of death was discovered when staff removed his personal effects. It turned out that he had strapped a roll of quarters to his crotch in the attempt of making his equipment appear larger. Unfortunately, the quarters were tied with surgical tubing, which had cut off circulation to his leg. Apparently the lack of blood flow, combined with the exertion of dancing, triggered his heart attack. The moral of the story is: Size does matter. If his brain had been larger, he'd still be alive.